Honest definitions from work and life

  • Capitalism

    noun

    An economic system where a corporation can legally evaluate the cheapest option between recalling a product with a life-threatening defect versus handling lawsuit settlements.

    Macy: "I heard about the car fire. Crazy!"
    Edward: "Yeah, I know. I work for that company."
    Macy: "So are you folks recalling the cars?"
    Edward: "Nah. We did the math. A recall would cut into Q3 profits! It's cheaper to settle."
    Macy: "What!? Profits over people?"
    Edward: Shrugs "Capitalism, baby!"

    karthik on July 27, 2024

  • Quality Assurance (QA)

    noun

    The part of software development where people who didn’t write the code calmly prove that the people who did write the code are liars.

    “Ask QA if it’s ready to release.”
    “QA says no.”
    “Cool, let’s release.”

    speedy on November 14, 2025

  • School

    noun

    A place to keep the kids occupied 9 to 5 so their parents can live and work 9 to 5 in peace.

    karthik on September 9, 2024

  • Founder mode

    noun

    A proposed mindset for a startup founder to feel insecure and start micromanaging every detail of their company—to save it from the very managers they hired to run it in the first place.

    Daniel: "What's a founder mode?"
    Paul: "Saving your company from all the managers you hired!"

    iokana on September 3, 2024

  • Rejuvenate

    verb

    To spend time in self-care and convince yourself that you’re revitalized and are ready to return to the same soul-sucking routine that drained you in the first place.

    Manager: "How was the weekend?"
    John: "Oh, I had a great time. I rejuvenated myself with some good rest."
    Manager: "Great! Now please finish the report by EOD!"

    karthik on August 20, 2024