Honest definitions from work and life

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  • Stall

    noun

    A corporate trap, also known as a booth, set up in exhibitions by companies to lure naive professionals with free tote bags, stickers, and tees and brainwash them that their perfectly fine system is broken without their overpriced solution.

    First time attendee: "Hey look, they gave me a sticker at their stall!"
    Veteran attendee: "They also got your email, didn't they?"

    karthik on August 17, 2024

  • Application Programming Interface (API)

    noun

    A connection between two or more software applications that forces them all to speak the common language of JSON. It's like those Na'Vi tentacle bonding in Avatar. Unsettling and confusing at first, but it somehow makes all software understand each other.

    karthik on August 3, 2024

  • Scope creep

    noun

    The desecration of a project by adding "one small item" to it at a time, which occurs between kick-off and go-live stage.

    Project Manager: "Look what they've done to my scope!"

    karthik on August 2, 2024

  • Go-live

    noun

    The terrorising closing ceremony of a project, which supersedes its kick-off stage, where the blood and carnage begins.

    Project Manager: "The feature is live folks!"
    Head of Product: "WTF!"
    Product Manager: "WTF!"
    Customer: "WTF!"

    karthik on August 2, 2024

  • Kick-off

    noun

    A cheerful opening ceremony for a project, which precedes the go-live stage, where the blood and carnage haven't begun yet.

    Head of Product: "How did the kick-off go?"
    Product Manager: "The fuse has been lit!"
    Project Manager (in unison with Head of Product): "Wait! What fuse?"
    Product Manager: "You'll see!"

    karthik on August 2, 2024