Honest definitions from work and life

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  • Collier’s Faith

    noun

    A blind optimism that the new software update will finally fix all the bugs, despite the overwhelming evidence from past releases that it will probably just create new ones.

    Bob: "Hope v2 solves #24 for our customers finally!"
    Alice: "Too much Collier's Faith, Bob! Way too much!"

    karthik on August 2, 2024

  • WTF

    interjection

    The only human expression in all known universes that's versatile enough to make you experience a full range of human emotions right up to enlightenment the moment you utter it.

    Ken: "I'm going to quit my job to create a dictionary with honest definitions!"
    Sarah: "WTF! That's a great idea!"
    Greg: "WTF! Are you out of your mind? Why?"
    Drake: "WTF does that mean?"
    Matt: "WTF! How are you gonna pay your bills?"
    Jim: "WTF! I wish I had guts like you!"
    Emily: "WTF! That sounds so risky!"
    Tom: "WTF! This is going to be interesting!"

    karthik on July 27, 2024

  • Anticipatory nostalgia

    noun

    🚨 trigger warning

    Feeling nostalgic for something you still have in the present but will be absent in the future—like your weekend or a pizza.

    Wife: "Why the frown? Aren't you excited for our vacation next month?"
    Husband: "But, but, I'm already nostalgic about it being over."
    Wife: "Great! You've ruined it for me now!"

    karthik on September 5, 2024

  • Color

    noun

    A styling property in Cascading Style Sheets (CSS) that has been misspelled since its inception because of the influence of the same folks who think football is a game where you use your hands and petrol is gas.

    Yuri: "I keep typing colour everytime instead of colour! Argh!"
    Rajesh: "It's always centre versus center for me!"

    karthik on August 9, 2024

  • Republic

    noun

    A government system in which you get to vote for representatives (instead of clowns like in democracy) who promise to act on your behalf but usually end up acting on their own behalf, while you spend the rest of the time wondering if they were just clowns in suits all along and if you are the bigger clown. Oh, you also get an actual president with this one!

    Son: "I finally voted. What next?"
    Dad: "Pay tax and weep!"
    Mom (glares at Dad): "Honey!"
    Dad: "What?"
    Mom: "You forgot the part where he should pretend it made any difference!"
    Son: "Hey, wait! I have seen this one before!"

    karthik on July 27, 2024