Honest definitions from work and life

You are currently viewing karthik's' submissions. Go home.

  • Developer

    noun

    An overworked professional who attends meetings ... and writes code in their spare time.

    PM: "Are we releasing this today?"
    Dev: "Nope. I'm stuck in a meeting!"
    PM: "About what?"
    Dev: "Complaining about the emails I didn’t have time to read because of meetings."

    karthik on August 14, 2024

  • Click-through Rate (CTR)

    noun

    A product metric in a software company that measures how often people are tricked into clicking on a link in an ad or email.

    Boss: "Hey, we've spent nearly $10,000 on this campaign. What’s our click-through rate?"
    Product marketer: jumps out the window

    karthik on August 14, 2024

  • Debounce

    verb

    To neatly bundle up a bunch of panicked, repetitive server requests from clueless developers and handle them as a single, calm request. It’s a common rate-limiting technique used to save servers from being overwhelmed by ridiculously frequent API polling from the noobs.

    New developer: "Erm... Why is there a lag in my request and response?"
    Experienced developer: "Your stupid logic fires too many requests in too little time. Your requests are being debounced."

    karthik on August 19, 2024

  • Product marketer

    noun

    A professional who contributes significantly to global warming by blasting enough email campaigns to emit as much CO2 as a small power plant to get a click-through rate of 0.5%.

    Podcast host: "As a product marketer, what's your mantra?"
    Product marketer: "Spray and pray!"

    karthik on August 14, 2024

  • Adult

    noun

    A former child who works, complains about it, gets stuck in traffic, complains harder, pays bills, complains louder, pays taxes, complains to the whole world, and desperately longs for bedtime.

    "I am an adult now. I can grab my keys, take my car, go to that dessert shop, and eat whatever I want! WHY DOES IT FEEL ILLEGAL SOMEHOW?"

    karthik on August 31, 2024