Honest definitions from work and life

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  • Imperial units

    noun

    An ancient, unnecessarily complicated system of measurement predominantly used in the USA to confuse the rest of the world and shoot themselves in the foot.

    Jack: "You know bud, imperial system is quite practical. We don't need metrication!"
    Raman: "Yeah? Tell me how you lost the Mars Climate Orbiter again?"

    karthik on August 31, 2024

  • Work

    noun

    A social necessity we tolerate so we can afford a stable and healthy life.

    Friend: "How's work?"
    Me: ¯\(ツ)/¯

    karthik on August 25, 2024

  • Life

    noun

    An improvised dance in the cosmic chaos, filled with beautiful moments to hold on to and bad ones to shrug off and carry on.

    Friend: "How's life?"
    Me: ¯\(ツ)/¯

    karthik on August 25, 2024

  • RendeZook

    noun

    A legendary and rare video game action, popular in the Battlefield series, where a pilot ejects from their jet mid-flight, shoots down an enemy aircraft with a bazooka (rocket launcher), and then hops back (rendezvous) into their own jet mid-air, humiliating the opponent and physics for entertainment.

    [XZ15]Kenlocked: Woah! You saw that? I rendezooked him out of the sky!
    [XZ15]Hywn: Great! Now can you finally help with the objective?

    karthik on August 15, 2024

  • Democracy

    noun

    A government system where you get to vote and elect the least ridiculous from a lineup of clowns every few years, then spend the rest of the time complaining about taxes and prices, slowly realising who the real clown is, until it's time to do the same thing all over again.

    Son: "I finally voted. Loving democracy! What next?"
    Dad: "Pay tax and cry!"
    Mom (glares at Dad): "Honey!?"
    Dad: "What?"
    Mom: "You forgot the part where he should pretend it made any difference!"

    karthik on July 27, 2024