Honest definitions from work and life

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  • Agile

    adjective

    A sacred cult ritual created and followed by software engineers and professionals where they practice changing their minds about everything every two weeks, convincing product managers, spouses, deities, and even the devil himself that it's all part of a grand master plan and not utter chaos.

    Terry: "Why do you cry often?"
    Jimmy: "Our team was using Agile."
    Terry: "You stopped being Agile now?"
    Jimmy (breaking down in tears): "No, we're scaled Agile now!"

    karthik on July 27, 2024

  • Dictionary

    noun

    A glorified book that explains the meaning of a word using another word that you have to look up in the same book.

    Ken: "I tried understanding the word 'aggrieved' in the dictionary."
    Sarah: "Did it help?"
    Ken: "It said 'aggrieved: see indignant.' So, I looked up 'indignant,' and it said 'to be aggrieved'.
    Sarah: "So, are you aggrieved or indignant now?"

    karthik on July 26, 2024

  • Vision Inflation

    noun

    When your product is basic, but your vision statement in the pitch sounds like it will reshape the fabric of humanity.

    Investor 1: "So what does it do? What's your vision?"
    You (probably): "An app that re-architectures and shapes time for humanity to make the world a better place."
    Investor 2: "You're vision inflating a fricking calendar app?"

    karthik on May 18, 2025

  • Fracking

    noun

    A process where the oil and gas industry stabs the Earth deep and pumps high-pressure water to fracture the rocks beneath, hoping it spits out oil and natural gas without causing any earthquakes or poisoning the air outside and the underground water. Also known as hydraulic fracturing.

    karthik on August 30, 2024

  • Cache

    noun

    A temporary storage for software applications to store stuff they'll need to remember quickly later. Exactly like that sad chair where you throw your clothes for quick access.

    Mom: "What's this? Clean it up!"
    Me: "Actually … that's my clothes cache. I need access to these quickly."

    karthik on August 27, 2024