Honest definitions from work and life

  • Dilly-dally

    verb

    To procrastinate or waste time by doing nothing. Especially when you are on your notice period.

    Employee 1: "So now that you’re in your notice period, what are you up to?"
    Employee 2: "Just dilly-dallying! Wanna know a cool fact about origami?"

    CaptainWTF on August 17, 2024

  • Bandwidth

    noun

    Corporate term for mental capacity a professional has left before they have a meltdown and dropkick their manager through the office printer.

    Manager: "You got some bandwidth to address this low hanging fruit?"

    CaptainWTF on August 16, 2024

  • Video game

    noun

    An electronic game crafted by artists and developers with breathtaking experience and butchered by publishers with DLCs and microtransactions.

    Lee: "Why did you stop playing video games?"
    Bob: "Not that fun like it used to be. Costly and empty these days!"

    CaptainWTF on August 15, 2024

  • Application Programming Interface (API)

    noun

    A connection between two or more software applications that forces them all to speak the common language of JSON. It's like those Na'Vi tentacle bonding in Avatar. Unsettling and confusing at first, but it somehow makes all software understand each other.

    karthik on August 3, 2024

  • Scrum master

    noun

    An oxygen-thieving scum in a software company that just writes emails, makes delivery reports, schedules pointless meetings, has the Agile manifesto tattooed in the back, with a mastery in the art of micromanagement.

    Scrum Master from Project A: "Welcome, everyone. Today’s agenda is to align on our project dependencies."
    Scrum Master from Project B: "And what do we call this meeting?"
    Scrum Master from Project A: "Scrum of Scrums!"
    Developer: "Perfect! A meeting about meetings. Can’t wait!"

    flamingo on August 2, 2024