The corporate ritual of putting a new hire through a survival course where they are bombarded with presentations, a dictionary's worth of company jargon, namesake unskippable compliance videos, and complicated expense filing steps, typically ending with a request to pretend on LinkedIn to be excited about the new water bottle.

A professional who contributes significantly to global warming by blasting enough email campaigns to emit as much CO2 as a small power plant to get a click-through rate of 0.5%.

A person in a group who is not a best friend yet. Usually the one who gets stuck behind the group on the pavement because there isn’t enough space to walk side by side.

A former child who works, complains about it, gets stuck in traffic, complains harder, pays bills, complains louder, pays taxes, complains to the whole world, and desperately longs for bedtime.

An ancient, unnecessarily complicated system of measurement predominantly used in the USA to confuse the rest of the world and shoot themselves in the foot.