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• Dilly-dally

  verb

  To procrastinate or waste time by doing nothing. Especially when you are on your notice period.

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  Employee 1: "So now that you’re in your notice period, what are you up to?"
  Employee 2: "Just dilly-dallying! Wanna know a cool fact about origami?"

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  CaptainWTF on August 17, 2024

  3

• Bandwidth

  noun

  Corporate term for mental capacity a professional has left before they have a meltdown and dropkick their manager through the office printer.

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  Manager: "You got some bandwidth to address this low hanging fruit?"

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  CaptainWTF on August 16, 2024

  3

• Video game

  noun

  An electronic game crafted by artists and developers with breathtaking experience and butchered by publishers with DLCs and microtransactions.

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  Lee: "Why did you stop playing video games?"
  Bob: "Not that fun like it used to be. Costly and empty these days!"

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  CaptainWTF on August 15, 2024

  3

• Autocorrect

  noun

  The self-righteous digital moral police found in smartphones that turns your simple messages into a ducking embarrassment when you least expect it.

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  Jones: Hey, can I have a sex with you?
  Female friend: WTF Jonny!
  Jones: DUCK!!! Sorry! I meant sec! SEC! SECOND! Can I have a SECOND with you! Oh duck! I'm ducking sorry! Ducking autocorrect!

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  CaptainWTF on August 22, 2024

  2